When did we stop being able to say no?

Why hello there (waves). I hope you’re all well and haven’t been having that internal struggle with do I or don’t I get the Christmas decs out already like I have.

On Sunday evening I was vegetating on the sofa after drinking way too much gin and a friend asked me for a favour. Just a wax, nothing big. I don’t do beauty therapy anymore, after getting carple tunnell the massage made my hand swell up like a lobster claw (cute lobster claw tho) and waxing/doing nails all day wasn’t really a bit of me so I stopped.

I am busy Friday and Saturday night so I did have to say no, but if I wasn’t busy I would have said yes, wished I hadn’t (I don’t like waxing, or wish to spend too many evenings doing it after a long old week) and told myself after, right that’s the last wax I do. Turned out it was really hard to just say no. I text three friends explaining the situation and checking it was okay that I was saying no and did this text I was about to send sound like a gentle let down? And it really got me thinking. When did we get to a stage that it feels wrong to just say no thank you I’m okay? We’ve all done it. A night out we really can’t afford, the wedding with an ex you would rather not bump into out of fear you may break his face or work drinks with that woman who thinks she is your boss (her name is probably Deborah). How would your diary look if you only made time for the things that you really wanted to. Time is precious so surely we shouldn’t spend it saying yes to everything we think we should.

Being a “yes” friend can be a struggle. I do get FOMO on occasion if I don’t go somewhere everyone else is and feel a wave of guilt if I don’t do as someone asks which has posed the problem that I am now a yes friend, even if I don’t always want to be. Years of doing this makes the change into the “sometimes yes sometimes no” category seem harsher than if I’d always done it. Never the less I’m going to give it a go and attempt to put the following things into motion.

Pondering more

By taking the time to think about an invite, who made up the rule you’ve got to reply straight away anyway, could help you make the best decision for you. Sometimes going away for a weekend to get pissed with your girls sounds great until you remember it clashes with your Next VIP slot and well, priorities right? Ask yourself will this make me happy and is it worth leaving my duvet for? If you’re not sure, you’ve got your answer and politely decline. You’ve got this, go practice your no’s babes.

Treat people as you would like to be treated

Basically if someone turns around and tells you they don’t want to go for a coffee anymore today because they are going off to practice their selfie technique then big love to them. There will come a day I want to practice mine (or should anyway) and I want someone to be that understanding for me.

Do not overthink it

I repeat, do not over think it. If you can be an anxious person at times, situations like saying no to an event or to a friend really can feel like the end of life as we know it. But it’s not, what’s the worst that can happen? And no, I am sure they are not talking about you. Take back control of your time, spend it doing things you love with people you love but also, please do retreat to your blanket if you must.

Who knows, with all the new found time on my hands I may be able to take some pictures for all these blogs that I write. If you’ve got any tips or thoughts I’d love it if you’d comment them below.

Lots of love,

K x

Jumper – M&S

Skirt – Oasis

Sneaks – Adidas

Necklace – Topshop

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