I don’t know about you but I can count my best friends on one hand. I actually have four friends that would hold my hair while I threw up or assist me after I killed that man who wouldn’t move his bag so I could sit down on the train. Thank girls you’re top blokes. Dan is my best friend of all time and he’s agreed to marry me so therefore is trapped forever and I couldn’t handle another one of him so please hold the second fiancé order thank you.
They are a comfort blanket and know more about me than I probably know myself. Being completely content with your friendship status and finding a good set of friends is hard and I’ve had my fair share of so called ‘best friends’. I’ve been a bitch or they’ve been a bitch and the relationship died out or ended in tears. Others where stubbornness got the better of us or life has taken us down different roads and we lost each other in the adulting madness. Seriously, adulting is so hard how are you suppose to find time to keep your partner happy, work full time, tidy and wash yourself adequately, drink alcohol, fit in me time and possible look after kids as well? But that’s one for another day….
I was walking to work with a girl I see on the train sometimes and it got me thinking. Is our comfort blanket stopping us from meeting new people and making strong friendship connections because we feel like we don’t need to? I’m very fond of this girl, this could be the foundations of a great friendship but we part after the walk and we both know the score. I love my friends and I’ve put time and effort into the these humans and keeping our relationship afloat. Are things really stable enough for new people to be jumping on the donut shaped dingy? The waters choppy already and right now, in my opinion no. Probably not. But does that mean we shouldn’t do it anyway? I know I should have chosen a more substantial floatation device but the “insta girls” look so cool on those doughnut shaped dingys.
Maybe we need people in our lives that we’re not super close to. These people are the lovely soft fluff inside a cushion that pads it out and gives it shape. These smaller relationships bring important things into our lives such as less intense conversations (I need that at 7am), getting to tell them just the totally fabulous things about your life (I don’t want to tell her I’ve blown all my money on ASOS and now am living on beans for the next three weeks and I sure as hell don’t have too) and a chance to speak to someone that’s not totally like us.
At the moment I’m feeling pretty happy with my friendship/relationship/work/personal life balance and I don’t think I could find time for another element! I already struggle to fit in wine evenings with the girls. However I really don’t want this to put me off building stronger bonds with new people, I guess we could always do with another accomplice in our life. Who knows when Dans going to break another one of my favourite wine glasses.
Lots of love,