It’s funny that I’m writing about confidence. A part of me feels like I am rather under qualified as I’ve struggled with it my whole life. Whether it was my weight, talking to strangers or that constant feeling I wasn’t good enough. I’ve only just recently found some but everyone has to start somewhere.
I started my blog at the beginning of this year and tried my best to make sense of WordPress. It didn’t look fantastic straight away, I couldn’t work out how to connect my instagram account (I know, it was so easy in the end) and I started panicking that someone I knew would see it so I stopped.
Things really changed for me when we brought our home. I was living with my Nan one week and my good friend the next all the while my future stability was in the hands of solictors who really couldn’t care less about my lack of personal space. Harsh that I wasn’t the centre of their universes I know! Even though I know most aspects of life we have no control, some of it we do and I decided I was going to get back those things. Starting with my confidence so here are a few things that really helped me to find mine.
Have a strong support network
My mum, sisters and my best girls are the people I go to when I start to get that voice inside that goes “oh shit, what am I doing with my life I’m not successful yet.” (this voice usually appears the morning after a few too many Vinos). Dan supports me endlessly in everything I do and even takes the odd picture for me (even though he gets annoyed with me constantly moving plants around) and I really can’t thank him enough. He also hoovers which for some reason I feel I must tell you all. Confidence means something different to all of us but just having them around makes me feel more ready to face the world. You don’t need to have millions of people around you, just a few that truly want the best for you.
Unfollow on instagram – and in real life
When I was younger I had a personal account on which I followed hundreds of fitness, weight loss, and transformation pages and quite frankly a lot of it was lies. I once read a bit of advice that said if you want to loose weight sit infornt of the mirror when you eat and you wont eat as much. Mad isn’t it?! I knew that was the wrong kind of thing I should be reading but wasn’t able to stop following them. Endless scrolling definitly made me take part in the dreaded C word… comparison. It caused me endless problems with emotional eating and excessive exercise.
Now I feel I know better and I can honestly say I really like my body. Yes I have a total freak out now and again about how I would be richer/happier/super clever if I was thinner but it passes and it’s not true. If your thin, curvier or somewhere in between your are beautiful and should tell your self everyday! I now only follow people that inspire me, spark my own creativity and to be honest just make me laugh. Check through the people you are following and think about your circle. If something isn’t sending you good vibes leaving it well alone could be a god send.
Find your role models
I read Karren Bradys autobiography and it honestly changed my life. Her can do attitude really inspired me and I started to think what I could do if I just backed myself more. Find women that inspire you to just do you. Once I stopped caring so much about negative things people might say or do, I got a whole lot more done!
Clear out your wardrobe
Random yes but very helpful. Going into my wardrobe everyday to get changed knocked my confidence. Nothing suited me anymore, nothing fitted me and it just made me feel like shit. I used to buy things that didn’t fit to try and motivate me to loose ten pounds. Well the ten pounds never left, probably turned into 20 pounds and I had a lot of clothes with tags on. I threw/gave away probably 60% if my wardrobe and would have done more if nudity at work was acceptable. I’m now having the time of my life creating a new size 10/12 wardrobe and not struggling to get my foot into a size 8 pair of jeans.
There’s a reason people say comparison is the theif of happiness and I think it also stole some of my confidence back then too. Let me know your thoughts on confidence building!
Please wear that yellow jumpsuit, apply for that job and eat that piece of cheesecake. I believe in you, even if you don’t!
Lots of love,